Can Real Babies and Fur Babies Coexist?

| 11 Comments

Sizing up the competition. Jezebel checks out the newborns.

For nearly three years, I have been researching and writing a book on the changing status of dogs and cats in society. The book’s central premise is that pets are becoming people, not only in our homes but also in the eyes of the law. Couples, especially when they don’t have their own kids, are ever more likely to turn their pets into surrogate children. They send them to doggy day camp, spend thousands on food and veterinary care, and create legal trusts to care for them should they themselves die. But what happens when real children enter the picture? Do we stop treating our pets like offspring when we finally have offspring of our own?

For me, the question has been a purely hypothetical one—until now. Last week, my wife gave birth to twin girls. The newborns join a family that already has two babies: our cats, Jasper and Jezebel. Like many couples, we spoil our pets. We buy them premium food, the latest toys, and take them for hour-long walks every day. (Yes, you can walk a cat. More on that, perhaps, in a future post.) Six years ago, when Jasper went into kidney failure, we rushed him to the pet emergency clinic and spent more than $3,000 on tests and medication. We cried. We lost sleep.  We took a few days off work. Would we do the same thing today?

So far, I think we would. Just a couple weeks before my wife delivered, Jasper’s kidneys acted up again. Though my wife was having trouble getting around, we both took him to the vet clinic, where they kept him for a couple of days—and another couple thousand dollars worth of testing and treatment. I nearly missed my brother’s wedding because of it. A few weeks later, as I scribble out a rough draft of this blog post, I’m out walking my cats while my wife watches over two sleeping infants. Jasper and Jezebel are as much a part of our family as they’ve ever been.

And yet, I wonder what the next year will bring. As the babies take up more of our love and attention will we still find time for the cats? We will still spoil them as much as we used to? Will there still be enough room in our hearts for both fur babies and the real thing?

I’d love to hear about your experiences. How have your feelings towards your pets changed since you brought children into the world? Have your cats and dogs become the older siblings—or the ugly stepchildren? Have you hit upon any tips to keep everyone happy? Please share your thoughts in the comments section!

11 Comments

  1. avatar

    Just got some tweets–and a great pic–from my colleague Nick Wigginton at Science (@nswigginton):

    @David_Grimm Our dog is the older sibling. Maybe a few less walks lately but he’s still got a spot in bed. Oh and congrats!

    nswigginton: @David_Grimm our dog can be resentful too but occasionally realizes that a baby is a source of heat http://t.co/pR96goEq

  2. avatar

    I would say that our cat is more like a sibling. they cuddle, they play together and they fight. That is with Amélie. With Zoe, I suspect she thinks that she is just a giant toy to play with. Especially those kicking legs and feet. One thing that is very cute is, when Zoe (or Amélie) cries, she goes over to her and starts to rub her head as if she wants to tell her that it is ok (or to say, please stop that hurts my ears!!!). Otherwise, she is very good in getting our attention, I even think her life improved because she gets more food out of us……

    -Annette

  3. avatar

    Thanks for the comment Annette! So far, our cats seem to be ignoring the babies. We were actually hoping they would be a bit more interactive like yours are. Maybe someday!

  4. avatar

    Before my dog was put to sleep, my dog was definitely part of my family. My mother and grandmother considered it a sibling to my brother and myself. We loved her dearly and I miss her even now. I count it a blessing that I believe that animals go to heaven and that I will see her again. So, I believe as your family grows, your love for your cats will continue to grow and they will be your children still. They will just have a bigger family to blend with. :-)

  5. avatar

    Thanks for your comment, Korinthia. I agree with you! :-)

  6. avatar

    i am totally agree with Korinthia. i also have a experience about our pet goat. we had a goat which was growing along with us in the family, and i have seen that there was not little change in my Fathers loving and caring behavior towards goat despite demanding attention by us in upbringing.

  7. avatar

    Thanks for your comment Suyog. It’s great to note that people can form attachments with a wide variety of animals!

  8. avatar

    We had a cat named Mitzie before our precious son was born. We still loved Mitzie very much but our son took precedence but we never stop loving our cat. . Mitzie was part of the family for 16 1/2 years and our son and his younger brother grew up with Mitzie. It’s just a different type of love. We all were family.

  9. avatar

    Thanks for your comment! I also had a cat named Mitzie growing up. She was just as much a part of the family as everyone else. :-)

  10. avatar

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  11. avatar

    My mom, Mary, has a plaque in the kitchen that says, “Dogs have masters, cats have staff”. That certainly is true around my home! If I want to eat, I sit by my bowl until my Dad pets me! Then I eat. I have him well trained! When I want to play hide-and-seek I make very strong eye contact with Don. He knows that it is time to run upstairs and then find me! I always make it easy for him to find me!

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